Elliot Page Deserves Our Respect, Allyship

'Pageboy' Heartfelt Story of Isolation, Despair of Growing Up Different

When the film Juno burst onto the scene 17 years ago, Canadian actor Elliot Page became an instant star. His turn as Juno MacGuff was funny and heartfelt and launched his career as one of Hollywood’s newest leading ladies. What most of us did not know at the time was that the 20-year-old Page was by then already struggling with the emotional anguish of hiding his sexuality and gender dysphoria from his family, friends, and the moviegoing public.

Now 36, Page has put his hidden past behind him and is today a proud and successful actor who is finally living the life he desired. Page came out as gay in 2014 and trans in 2020. I just finished reading his memoir, called Pageboy, and it was heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. Page has been through some very difficult times, but through therapy and self-discovery has come out the other side for the better. At times, for Page, being an out gay and then trans actor seemed mostly impossible.

Page knew he was attracted to women as early as four years old, and as he grew older, despite his family’s insistence it was just a phase, his understanding (if not acceptance) of his sexuality grew stronger and stronger. By the time he broke into acting in Canada in the late 1990s he was certain of his attraction to women, and even as he was forced to dress up to look more feminine by agents and directors and others in the entertainment industry he did so only at great pains. It emotionally and physically hurt him to wear makeup and dresses. But what choice did Page have as an actor, especially after his breakout role in Juno and the subsequent Oscar nomination for Best Actress? He had to play by the rules to ensure success, even while those rules tormented him.

I’ll leave all the stories and heartbreak for you to read in the book, but suffice it to say his mental health suffered greatly and as he grew older his belief that he was trans also grew. Very few people were there to help him through these difficulties, and in fact some of those closest to him made it damn near awful.

Today Page doesn’t talk to his father, for example. And it’s hard to blame him. One of the anecdotes in the book that hit me the hardest was when Page relayed the story of how when fellow Canadian and author Jordan Peterson tweeted about his transition by saying: "Remember when pride was a sin? And Ellen Page just had her breasts removed by a criminal physician." The post got Peterson banned from Twitter, but that didn’t stop Page from noticing that his father “liked” the tweet.

Page’s mother was dismissive of his “tomboy” persona and did what she could to persuade Page to meet a nice boy to date. Page’s father was dismissive of his complaints about his father’s new wife, and after Page came out as gay then trans his father became more distant. I do not understand how a parent can not support his or her child unconditionally. It pained me to read this portion of the book, and it was all I could do not to try to reach out to Page myself to offer some fatherly advice. By the way, had I the opportunity to speak to Page during the most difficult times during his transition, I would have offered my full support, love, and assistance. I would have picked Page up from his top surgery and nursed him back to health. Unfortunately, Page didn’t have such loving parents.

I simply have no tolerance for intolerance. How anyone could treat a fellow human being like crap simply because of their gender identity or sexuality is beyond my comprehension. I used to blame religion, but intolerance comes from all walks of life. Frankly, Page’s parents should have their parent cards taken away as they are not fit to be parents.

Gender has always been abstract. This is true of hijras in India, the muxe population in Mexico, bakla people in the Philippines, and many others. North American Indigenous fluid and third gender roles, including the Navajo nádleehi and the Zuni lhamana, have existed since pre-colonial times. Many African cultures have more than two gender distinctions. Gender falls along a spectrum.

Hollywood, for all its progressive talk, has never been a safe place for gay or trans people. In the film The Celluloid Closet, directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman paint a distressing picture of how gays were treated in Hollywood since the early days and how not much has changed. Yes, actors and actresses are able to be out now, and there are great parts being written for gay actors all the time. But it wasn’t always the case and even today the business of film looks down on gay people and still write too many stereotypical roles. This is true despite a long list of gay actors finally getting their due at awards time.

Juno was made in 2007 yet Page feared simply coming out as gay would ruin his career and limit his opportunities for good roles. So he kept his sexuality hidden at great cost so he could take female roles without concern. But just imagine how Page would have been perceived when he first hit it big had he come out as trans right away? Were there any well known trans actors working in mainstream Hollywood in 2007? Laverne Cox didn’t “make it” in Hollywood until 2013 with her recurring role as Sophia Burset in Orange Is the New Black. A year later she became the first transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award in an acting category. Check out the film Disclosure if you want to learn more about the history of trans performers in Hollywood (it’s a fascinating documentary).

Page’s transition could very well have been the end of his acting career. But shout out to the team behind the show The Umbrella Academy for treating Page with respect and writing his transition into his character. Netflix deserves some credit for not turning their back on Page, and frankly for giving Laverne Cox such a juicy role. The network has a long way to go though, as they still platform anti-trans comedians.

I have to admit that, as woke as I think I am, my initial reaction to Page transitioning was not woke. I thought Page was an attractive woman and that it was somehow a loss that she was transitioning into a man. This sexist reaction was not about Page, rather it was about the male gaze.

I won’t make excuses for this reaction, but I am learning to be better. There’s nothing wrong with being woke — in fact, it’s a good thing. Don’t let anyone tell you the world is too woke. Fuck “anti-woke” comedians like Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais. These comedians are not anti-woke, they are sexist assholes who punch down. Netflix should not give them space on their platform. And screw conservatives who whine about the world being too woke. These people are simply looking for an excuse to belittle people because they are too shallow and stubborn to grow as human beings.

The trans community has a long way to go until acceptance in general society let alone Hollywood. Conservative lawmakers are outlawing gender-affirming care across the country and anti-trans rhetoric and hate is increasing not decreasing. There are more than 400 anti-trans bills currently in play across 40 U.S. states.

Elliot Page may have had a rough upbringing, but his strength of character and insistence that he live his best life publicly and loudly is commendable and downright brave. He is using his platform to change the narrative, but it will only make a difference if people who are not members of the LGBTQ+ community learn more and show their support and encouragement.

Pageboy is a very good and important book and I certainly learned a lot. I also know that it is my duty as an ally to speak out, both when I witness anti-LGBTQ+ actions and even when I don’t. This is not someone else’s fight. It’s the fight of all decent, loving people who want a better life for all of us on this stupid blue dot called earth.

I am a fan of Elliot Page. I support all LGBTQ+ people. I am a proud LGBTQ+ ally.